A variety of factors impact infidelity rates, believe it or not. These factors can range from family values, income, economic stress, illness, and the decade(s) someone grew up in. The Institute of Family Studies notes that 20% of men and 13% of women will cheat on their married spouse at some point. Infidelity can cut someone to the core and leave lasting impacts for years to come if not addressed and healed properly. This blog post will explore how to heal from infidelity from a trauma counselor’s lens.
How Does Infidelity Impact a Relationship?
This can be a vast topic to discuss. I will provide a brief overview of how infidelity can negatively impact marriage dynamics here. In a marriage or committed relationship, vulnerability and trust are usually present within the dynamic. This forms the bond of a relationship. Once this vulnerability is jeopardized, it tends to suck the ‘past work put into the relationship’ out. People may experience this as numbness or hollowness within their body. Additionally, the voided trust may take years to rebuild or not be reestablished at all. Thus, the physical, mental, and emotional space created by infidelity between two people can increase. This can lead to strained communication and interpersonal dynamics.
Impacts of Infidelity on the Non-Cheating Spouse
Every human being is different and will respond differently to a cheating spouse or partner. One topic that arises quickly after infidelity is the thought for the future. Topics like the future of the relationship, child dynamics, and extended family members finding out all rush in. Another factor that may arise is the guilt and shame-based thoughts about past actions that may have influenced this behavior. Although these thoughts are mostly irrational and not logically connected, the brain tries to make sense of what happened in any way it can. These are some of the relationship-altering changes after infidelity arises. Furthermore, there may be mental health issues as well.
Mental Health Challenges Related to Infidelity
Infidelity in a relationship can directly affect the non-cheating partner. Here are some of the ways infidelity can negatively impact the non-cheating partner’s mental health. Given the abrupt violation of trust, a spouse’s self-talk can turn negative, and their self-esteem and worth can plunge as they try to grapple with the new information.
Furthermore, cheating in a relationship can force an abrupt shift in one’s identity that would not have occurred if the cheating did not happen. One identity shift may be from seeing themselves as part of a ‘partnership’ or ‘team’ in the relationship to feeling alone. This can increase one’s isolation in daily life and depressive symptoms.
Another area that can be greatly impacted is employment or productivity. With the increase in stress, worry, and fear about the future, it can be difficult to pay attention to the present moment. Sometimes, this is where couples therapy or relationship counseling can be useful. It may also be beneficial to have an individual therapist to work through stress and trauma symptoms associated with the infidelity.
How to Heal from Infidelity from a Trauma Counselor Near Pleasant Prairie, WI
Two forms of psychotherapy can be effective in helping to heal from the pain of infidelity. The first is Somatic Experiencing (SE), and the other is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Both of these mental health therapies can help someone heal from the body and nervous system upwards. As counseling progresses, an individual’s thoughts or cognitions will shift to become healthier and more adaptive.
If you or someone you know are looking for an expert in infidelity counseling near you, reach out now. I can be reached by calling 720.295.6703 or by submitting on online form here to get started. I look forward to supporting you in this healing process!
