First responders risk their well-being on a day-to-day basis. Something less spoken about is the stress this places on their loved ones. Not only is this a form of stress on the family, but this can quickly turn into a grief and loss situation, without any warning. This blog post will explore first responder family grief and loss.
The Risk of the Job
Risk is everywhere when you’re a first responder. About 1 in 3 first responders will develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in their lives. They are routinely exposed to traumatic situations, and some of these situations can also physically harm them or take their lives. However, the first responder’s family also carries this stress every day their loved one goes to work or decides to work a double shift.
Coping with Stress
Each family member may need to cope with stress in their own way. Other skills family members may use to cope with the stress they experience with having a family member as a first responder may include:
- Rationalization – justifying why they need to go to work or why they do this job.
- Suppression – pushing emotions away when they arise.
- Repression – unconsciously keeping emotions away so they aren’t noticed.
- Displacement – redirecting pent-up emotions to someone or something else.
- Projection – putting your insecurities or worries on others as a means of protection.
- Reaction Formation – doing and feeling the opposite of how you internally feel.
- Intellectualization – overthinking and getting stuck on objective facts to avoid an issue.
- Avoidance – as this sounds, finding things to do to fill your time when there are other priorities that need to be taken care of.
- Escape – finding ways to flee stressful situations.
- Denial – simply denying facts to justify a perspective/position.
Some individuals may gravitate towards certain defense mechanisms over others or utilize a variety of them in one situation. What’s important to note here is that these are ways to help manage stress. The issue with using defense mechanisms arises when these defense mechanisms become so ingrained that someone doesn’t recognize they are using them just to function.
Sacrifices Take Many Forms
First responder families know the profession and the risks associated with the job. At times, the pain of long hours away from a loved one, missed basketball games, or holiday emergencies can create distance amongst loved ones. This can create family problems or interpersonal issues within the family. Family therapy may be needed to address the specific dynamics creating stress in the family.
First Responder Family Members
Yes, first responders are exposed to high levels of trauma and risk on a routine basis. However, the stress that falls on the first responder’s family members can also have negative effects, especially the grief and loss that may occur if the first responder is killed in the line of duty. Furthermore, grief and loss experiences for family members may become complex if there are components of vicarious trauma or children in the family. Whether you’re a family member who is struggling with pain, grief, or vicarious trauma or a first responder yourself, individual trauma therapy near you can help you heal and find peace.
Individual Trauma Therapy for First Responder Family Members
Grief and loss are a normal experience in life. People all over the world experience this when they lose someone close. Yet, after some time, if the pain has not passed or thoughts of what you could have done differently, said differently, or regrets continue to arise, individual trauma therapy may help you heal. Losing someone close to us, especially unexpectedly, can cause a trauma response and greatly exacerbate grief and loss symptoms. This is something you can heal from.
I have over eight years of professional experience providing therapy and support to adults on their healing journeys. If you are interested in starting therapy, call 720.295.6703 or visit my website here. I am currently accepting both online therapy clients as well as in-person clients for weekend appointments. Online therapy appointments are held during the weekend evening hours and work best for those located throughout the State of Wisconsin and Colorado. I have found that in-person appointments work best for those who live near Pleasant Prairie, Kenosha, and Racine, Wisconsin. I look forward to hearing from you.
