Healing after infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences in the world. The bond you have with somebody that you thought could withstand anything has now been shattered. In this blog post, we’ll discuss how men can rebuild their sense of trust, self-worth, and regulate their nervous systems to live the lives they desire after infidelity.
The Invisible Aftermath of Infidelity for Men
Men already struggle to open up and express their emotions and vulnerabilities. So, after their trust has been shattered, their protectiveness may only increase. Just because men are silent doesn’t mean they do not struggle. The observations of men’s outdoor lives can be vastly different than the internal storms they experience.
How Infidelity Impacts the Male Nervous System
As with trauma, infidelity is an extremely stressful and overwhelming event. This level of overwhelm can dysregulate the body and the nervous system to a point where someone is unable to remain in a calm, regulated state. Furthermore, this regulation may not come back to normal and may need the help of an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist to help with reregulation and healing.
Infidelity has the power to disrupt different aspects of a man’s life. The shock level of cheating, for a man, can disturb his work performance, decrease motivation, and increase fears and insecurities to a point where he walls off his inner world from the exterior. This is by definition a protective defense mechanism. However, over time, this defense mechanism can become overutilized and highly ingrained. This may lead to a mind-body disconnect over time and other challenges later in life.
Reclaiming Control: The Power of Nervous System Regulation
Finding the space and time to regulate the nervous system is crucial to allow healing to occur. That’s because our bodies cannot heal when they’re in a traumatic or overwhelming state. So, by regulating and stabilizing the nervous system, we start to set the foundation for future healing. This healing then focuses on the man himself, his emotions, and his mental health, not the relationship that experienced the betrayal. Salvaging the relationship may be better supported by a couples counselor near you.
Rebuilding Self-Worth After Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal trauma disrupts our ability to trust our own decisions and judgments about ourselves and others. A symptom of having our trust shattered. Again, this ties back to the nervous system regulation. We need to stabilize the nervous system first to allow the body space and time to heal in these different areas. Once this is done, the body can begin rebuilding your level of self-worth and confidence.
Relearning Trust with a Betrayal Trauma Therapist Near You
Relearning trust after infidelity can be one of the hardest aspects to overcome. That’s because it’s not just learning to trust others but yourself, too. Because that trust in other people has been shattered, we may develop the belief that other people will always break our trust. That’s not always the case. But telling ourselves this won’t relieve the issue or bring healing to our bodies. Thus, an EMDR therapist in Wisconsin can help you rebuild your sense of self to withstand future betrayals while being able to separate one person’s lack of respect from the new people who may come into your life.
Why Men in Brookfield, WI Are Choosing EMDR Therapy
EMDR therapy is a form of trauma therapy that helps to process and integrate past painful memories. By doing this, we’re allowing your body to heal from the overwhelming stress and trauma that may be associated with infidelity and replace those thoughts with healthier, more positive beliefs. This way, your memories will no longer have the negative, visceral charge that so many of our emotions can have.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Rebuilding
It takes time to rebuild after infidelity occurs in a relationship. An EMDR therapist near you can help you with this process. I am a certified EMDR therapist and currently accepting new clients. I offer online EMDR therapy for those who live throughout the State of Wisconsin, as well as in-person therapy for those who live near Kenosha, Wisconsin. In-person therapy works best for those who live near Racine, Pleasant Prairie, Lake Geneva, Somers, and Union Grove, Wisconsin.
If you would like to schedule a free 15-minute consultation, please submit an online form here or call me at 720.295.6703. From there will schedule our call, and if we both agree that we’re a good fit to work together, we’ll schedule our first session. I look forward to hearing from you.
By: Daniel Gospodarek, LCSW, Certified EMDR Therapist
