Breaking self-sabotaging patterns in men can be a large obstacle. However, you can unlock a path towards growth, emotional freedom, and of healing once these patterns are resolved. This post will explore how self-sabotaging patterns become entrenched in a man’s world, ways to heal these patterns, and what your life can be like afterward.
What Does Self-Sabotage Look Like in Men?
Self-sabotaging in men can take many different forms. Each man will have his own unique way(s) to self-sabotage. Self-sabotaging could mean becoming overly self-critical to ruin an upcoming presentation. This way, when a mistake is made in the presentation, you already feel like you were going to make the mistake, so you just confirm that bias. Self-sabotaging could also take the form of thinking less of yourself when going into an interview or intentionally not showing up on time to a specific appointment that could benefit your life. There are the more common or more easily observed patterns of self-sabotage, such as substance use, alcohol use, emotional numbness, perfection tendencies, or even staying at work too long to avoid the problems at home, intentionally or unintentionally. How we self-sabotage can be either conscious or unconscious.
Root Causes of Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Most forms of sabotaging patterns are influenced by the younger years of development. Some may be more in our conscious realm of thought, but most self-sabotaging patterns happen behind the scenes. We may do things that we don’t know why we did them, or can’t give a good reason at that time for what happened. However, these patterns of self-sabotage often develop during childhood and adolescence, sometimes even young adulthood, and they become reinforced with time.
The Cost of Staying in These Patterns
Self-sabotaging has a different cost for every man. For some, it may be the relationship with their spouse or partner, their relationship with themself, or their children. The costs may vary depending on the man and his situation. The costs are not just financial. They are emotional, spiritual, and psychological.
5 Steps to Break Self-Sabotaging Patterns
Here’s a quick five-step method to break self-sabotage patterns. Now, because self-sabotaging patterns are so ingrained, you may need to practice this multiple times and work with a mental health professional near you for extra support.
- Notice and increase your awareness around self-sabotaging patterns (learning about them on YouTube or other journal articles) and how they impact your life.
- Take time to recognize how self-sabotaging patterns play out unconsciously in your daily life.
- Reflect on how these patterns have become so ingrained and how they continue to manifest in various areas of your life, such as work, sports, and relationships.
- Connect with your emotions and sensations when you recognize that self-sabotaging pattern is taking place.
- Change the cycle. Sabotaging patterns move your life in a certain direction; change course. That’s in your sense of control. This could mean talking with your partner about your feelings and emotions, connecting with a friend, finding a therapist near you, or connecting with a mentor for support.
Why Many Men Struggle to Break These Patterns Alone
There are many reasons why men struggle to break self-sabotaging patterns in their lives. Some men do not want to be seen as weak or needing help. Whereas other men may depend too much on external help and not take personal accountability for their actions. Healing is a balance of effort, intentionality, grit, accountability, and patience.
Men struggle to break self-sabotaging patterns for many reasons. The five steps above may not be enough. People typically don’t heal on their own. Sometimes that healing needs to take place in a therapy clinic, with an accountability partner, or some sort of mentor coach.
The Role of Individual Therapy in Healing Self-Sabotage Patterns Near Milwaukee, WI
If you’re struggling with self-sabotaging patterns or know someone who becomes stuck in these patterns, individual therapy near Milwaukee, WI can help break these detrimental cycles. Individual therapy is confidential and beneficial to helping someone heal. It may take some time to create healing; however, healing can have a lasting impact on a man’s life.
If you’re tired of the cost of sabotaging patterns in your life, please give me a call at 720.295.6703 or submit an online form by clicking here. I’m currently accepting new clients for both in-person and online therapy sessions. I offer in-person therapy sessions on the weekends for those who live near Kenosha, Racine, Union Grove, and Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. I subsequently offer virtual therapy sessions on weekday evenings as well as on the weekends for those who live throughout the state of Wisconsin.
